You only have one life, why waste it on sleep?

My home doesn’t feel like home any more, but Lampeter does, it has my friends and my boyfriend there, however my home town has my family, so conflicted right now….

I have to admit, i dont really go on tumblr anymore, and i deffinatley dont do texts posts a lot, but this is now ridiculous.

Id like you to put your self in my position, imagine your a young boy, who doesnt shut up, your always chatting away, smiling and all with out a care in the world, until your parents start telling you one day, when ever you meet new people, to be quiet, and to not talk unless your spoken too (now this is something they started to say a lot, so, obviously, i did what they told me, and didnt speak, unless i was spoken to) so there you are carrying on with your life, and each time you meet new people, you’d get on, but youd be quiet for the first part and then open up to them, not realising that what you are doing was ‘wrong’, untill one day (and this part is now in the present) people start to say 'oh, your very quiet’ or 'you dont say much do you’ or even, and this is my personal favorate (im kidding obviously) when they turn to other people, whilst im in the same room and say  'isnt he very quiet’.

Now up untill this point you were perfectly fine gradually getting to know people, then having big convosations with them, however as soon as something like that is said to you, you automatically start to think you should be talking, even though you still have your parents voice in your head telling you to not talk unless your spoken to, but because you now think you need to speak, you cant, your mind goes blank, and you start to feel nervous and awkward, and like there is something wrong with you.

Now picture yourself sat around a table eating a meal with someone who has just said this to you, imagine how stupid, nervous and awkward you would feel, especially when you are on your own with them, no support with you so to speak, horrible feeling isnt it.

So next time you feel the need to say ’ oh, your very quite arnt you’ or 'you dont say much do you’, or even 'isnt he very quiet’, please, for gods sake think about how uncomfortable you are going to make that person feel being around you.

thank you